You know you’re too busy when……
You are writing blog posts at 1:26 am!
I cannot believe that it has been over a month since I last virtually put pen to virtual paper to write about life or faith or life and faith, but it has.
I’ve had a little trouble with the new Word Press blog. When the new and improved www.kimzweygardt.com went live in October, my passwords, navigating the back side of my site, etc. all changed.
And suddenly, I realized that although I loved the changes, I really didn’t like changing, if that makes sense. I spent a good bit of time looking for my new passwords, interspersed with trying out various passwords, changing passwords, losing the new passwords until I just put it on the back burner as life took over.
This seems counter intuitive to what I just said, but I am realizing something about myself as the days pass into years–I love a new endeavor! I love the excitement of learning or doing something new. All my efforts and enthusiasm goes into whatever the event of the moment is…and then I’m ready to move on. I run willy nilly to each thing, give it my all, burn the candle at both ends, take a deep breath and run for the next thing.
Now, if you have hung around kimzweygardt.com very long, you would say, “Blah, blah, blah. Haven’t we heard this before?” Yes. A common theme is my tendency to over commit my time and energy. But this is something different. And it does have a spiritual application.
Two years ago I fell in love with kiln formed glass or fused glass, so I studied all I could learn on-line about glass fusing. I took classes. Kary bought me a kiln and built me a studio. Soon beautiful, functional pieces of glass were over flowing the studio. Then they were overflowing my home. I mean, how many plates, platters and bowls does a person need? Then of course, I began gifting glass until the giftees yelled “uncle!” And people were asking, “Aren’t you going to sell your work?” So I decided to do a craft show and it was wonderful! The glass was popular. The accolades were welcome. And all of my spare time was spent thinking about glass, making glass, ordering glass supplies, etc. in the days leading up to the show. (And I am selling online, so if you are interested in the glass I am doing, check out http://www.artfire.com/users/GirlonFire)
The month before that I’d prepared for the ACFW conference in Denver. I’d made plans to go without really understanding all I needed to know about agent appointments and editor appointments and so the weeks before I was to go, I locked myself in my office and wrote like a mad woman to prepare for the conference. And I was prepared and the conference was a wonderful experience. I met great sisters in Christ and fellow writers in the ACFW, got a great critique from a well known writer, had positive appointments with editors and agents.
And in between all of that, I performed in Dallas at a wonderful women’s event for Heritage Church that took time and preparation.
So…..what is wrong with all of that? After all, I am called to perform women in Scripture and I know I have a call on my life and a story to tell that must be written.
What is wrong is that I run from thing to thing, putting the other things behind me to move on to the next forgetting that I am called to it all all the time. When I write, I put all else aside and only write. When I fuse, I do the same. When I prepare to perform, all my energy goes into that one thing. And, true confession here, sometimes, I get so busy getting ready to do something ‘for the Lord’ I am so busy, my time with Him is also on a back burner. Ouch!
Today I read a quote about doing things today, living today, making choices today so that when you look back on your life there will be no regrets.
It is hard to not feel regret when you run around like a chicken with its head cut off much of the time!
Now, if you know me, you know that I am a high energy person. If you know me, you know that I can get lots of stuff done. I know how to do a lot of different things and enjoy doing many different things. It would seem I could look back with no regret on a life well lived and yet, I realize that sometimes the important things get lost in the shuffle.
I have a feeling that when I meet Jesus face to face He won’t care about my love for fused glass–not that there is anything wrong with it and whatever creativity I have, I give Him all the glory. He won’t care how many times or how well I performed my drama’s even though they are done for His glory and to bring others to Him. His main concern won’t be if I hit the best seller list with my first novel although since it is a prodigal story, it speaks to coming to a saving faith and knowledge of who He is.
What He will ask me is did I love Him and love the people He has put in my life. It is easy for me to get caught up in the doing, doing, doing and the going, going, going. Like the small child hollering, “Look Daddy! Look at me!” I run and do and perform for Him while forgetting to sometimes just sit at His feet and hear His voice. Sometimes in the busyness of all the things I want to get done and all of it for His Glory, I rush by people He has placed in my sphere of influence, missing out on the greatest opportunity to love them with His love.
And though I love the new–something different, something exciting, some new experience or something to learn, it is hard to change from the Old Man of my flesh that forgets what He has for me, if I will just take off the old and put on the new life, the new heart, the new way of walking with Him. To see life through His eyes. To hear life with His ears. To touch others with His gentle touch. To speak Life to others the way He has spoken to me.
All of those things take time. And time is what I burn doing all that I am doing so that only at now 2:14 am do I find time to write what is on my heart and pour out a prayer to Him.
I love my drama of Mary, the mother of Jesus, called “My Son, My Savior.” I repeat the words of Scripture as I perform her visit from the angel when Mary says “Let it be to me as you have said.”
So tonight I say again, “Lord, I fall so short of the calling You have given me. I fail so many times. But I come to You again, my Jesus, and say ‘Let it be to me as You have said.’”
As we move toward Christmas, may you be blessed with New Life and Faith as we celebrate Emmanuel, God with us!
